Living With a Cast

Day by day this is getting better again. Suzie is no longer in pain which is the biggest relief. At first every movement hurt and diaper changes were awful. Our saving grace is that we introduced her to Baby Signing Time videos to help her communicate and learn English and she loves them. She watched them on an iPad at the hospital and had them playing 24/7 for the first few days we were home as she laid on a bean bag chair. She knows several signs (water, more, all done, shoes, eat, etc) and it’s been very helpful. 

However we are so sick of them!! So now that she can be moved without pain we are finding more activities for her to do. We don’t want her to be lying on her back so much and her bottom needs a break in order to avoid sores. Even with her cast, she’s tiny so she still fits in her high chair & stroller and the angle is just right to rest in her walker. Also, we found that by changing out the leg divider on her wheelchair she could fit! This was the best!! She liked it before but now she loves having the freedom to move on her own. She had the biggest smile when she got to ride in it again.
She’s also liking coloring and playing with toys in her high chair.

Today I was able to hold her semi-normally and it was like she was craving it...I had to put the carrier on because she didn’t want to stop and then she fell asleep on me. We both needed it! She’s been kinda cold to me since the hospital. She wants me for all of her needs but won’t hug or kiss me anymore. She gives them to Brian and the kids but not me anymore. Our time today was so precious and I know that we’ll get back to where we were.

Despite this being hard and so disappointing, we have many blessings to count:
- this happened while I’m already on leave from work and able to be home and take care of her
- it didn’t happen while one of the kids was playing with her
- we have great insurance, so far, this will not be a financial burden
- we now know how fragile she is and can get her on the correct treatment and therapy path
- our big kids are extremely understanding and helpful (or at least good at taking care of themselves)
- we have the BEST friends ever! All the texts and messages offering help and encouragement (despite you guys already doing that for the past month!) was overwhelming yet again.

 Shouts out to Jody and Aaron for getting our other car back to our house (it was left at urgent care) and leaving a meal in our fridge which we ate at 11pm when we finally got home on Thursday! Also Bryan for letting our kids have a second home and not having to miss practices, Arlene for taking Addie under your wing on Wednesday and giving Mason a place to hang out after school and Justinand Sarah for taking Mason to his game and bringing him dinner. It made him feel so special and eased our minds and hearts. You all allowed us to be fully present at the hospital for Suzie and we appreciate it more than we can ever say!

A Setback (4/18)

Yesterday went from being our best day so far to our worst. We are at Children’s hospital awaiting surgery to align Suzie’s femur and place her in a spica cast.
 Her leg buckled while trying to pull herself up to standing position yesterday evening. I had left her alone with Brian for our longest time yet while I took Addie to her middle school orientation.
 That morning we had re-introduced her to a walking helper harness. She had previously rejected it, but I showed her how it works with a teddy bear and then she was all about it. We walked with it all morning and she was just beaming...so proud!
 We visited her future daycare and she even wore it there. At daycare I left her for 10 minutes and snuck away out of the room. After asking for me a couple times, she was content to play with the group. It was a huge success! After that we had a friend of mine visit with her daughter and she did great then too. She was worn out by nap time but is so hyper vigilant that she usually doesn’t nap. I decided to give her a sleep mask to help her calm down and she fell asleep quickly!
We were going to bring her to Addie’s middle school night but she was working on a bowel movement and it hadn’t come yet. She basically gives birth every couple days complete with moaning and head sweats. Brian offered to stay home with her. It seemed like the right time after such a good day. He said that she was doing great- letting him carry her around and having a fun time until it happened. Her little leg just gave out- no fall, no trauma.
 Well, that’s not true, there is trauma. She is very traumatized and it appears that she is once again fearful of Brian. Why did this have to happen with him?! He is also very traumatized. His drive to Children’s was awful and every time he moved her she was in excruciating pain. I’m traumatized that I left her. I wasn’t there for her. Addie and Mason are both shook up. It appears that we’ve lost her trust. This is such a setback in so many ways- physically, emotionally and relationally.
 We have surgery at 1:15pm which means no food or drink until then. She keeps asking for water and I can’t explain to her why I can’t give her some. When I tell her I love her she shakes her head and cries.
 This is the worst.

 UPDATE
 Surgery is now delayed until 5:30 or 6pm. Hopefully we don’t have to stay another night. Suzie is comfortably medicated and they are letting her have clear liquids, so she’s happier. We are done with our pity party and just moving forward. Thank you for all the encouragement and help! This whole adoption has been so humbling and you all are showing us how to love well! Thank you for being our village!

 UPDATE 2
 Suzie is out of surgery. She did really well and the doctors and nurses were incredible. As expected, she was grouchy and groggy waking up but soon recognized Kassie and calmed down. We got her back to the room in her new purple spica cast which covers her entire left leg and her stomach, but they left her right leg free to move. After getting our stuff gathered up we put Suzie in a wagon and wheeled her to the car, pick up her meds and headed home. Our friends loaned us their enormous bean bag chair and Suzie has been there since, I think she's enjoying being waited-on, and the meds. Now for the real adventure.

sleeping beauty, she needs the mask to nap

at daycare hanging out

walking with mason, about 30 minutes before fracture

left femur fracture, this is about an hour after break

getting a splint before driving to Chilren's in Aurora

Watching Baby Signing Time on the phone

Being spoon-fed beef broth

Kassie slept in the chair next to the bed

Brian slept on the couch

heading into surgery

waking up from surgery with a sore throat

First time seeing the purple spica cast 

wagon ride to the car

Brian with the new car seat for the spica cast

finally home, watching Baby Signing Time from the bean bag